Howdy Friends! For a horse/human relationship to flourish it takes a lot more than the basic care needs being fulfilled. It takes a lot of little things. The things we are “obligated” to do. More than a stall, feed, water, health care and training. Remember, your horse won’t really care, unless she knows you do. Sure she’ll learn the skills you’re asking for, but to excel and glow, it takes a lot of little things.
Horses are social. They yearn for a connection. For me, I’ve never bought into the whole predator/prey thing or the alpha mare thing, or teach them who’s in charge … What is that?! … I don’t care about that stuff … whatever horse I’ve ever worked with I’ve always felt we were equals … I treat people the same way. In fact, I go step farther and am happy to take advice from any horse I’m working with, or person, and see where it goes. But I like to pay attention to the little things. I can get lost in the little things.
Horses will become disinterested if all they ever get is the things you are “obligated” to give them.
Think about that. How would you feel if the only time you saw your human was at feeding time, and if the horse is boarded not even then, or when you were being groomed for a show, or trained for this or that.
It’s the little things that build, love, trust and willingness.
With tiny little things you can show your horse you care. Coffee with your horse. Take them on walks, not under saddle. Answer their frustrations with real answers, not just an “obligated” response. Laugh with them when things get silly, don’t scold them. Spend time with them when you are expecting nothing of them, except being together.
Remember, training to a horse is what SHE feels “obligated” to do … Join her in the things she does for fun.
Think about this … How many times have you heard from friends, or maybe experienced it yourself, that after a horse has had a serious injury or illness and was nursed back to health by their person for weeks or months, they enjoy a totally new relationship. Like something they could never have imagined. It was the giving, without asking for anything that melded those hearts. Think of rescue horses and the bonding there.
When your horse knows how much you care, whatever you want to do together will happen … Just like magic. Gitty Up ~ Dutch Henry
